But I digress. According to the
Associated Press:
“The U.S. training command had already reported it would arm all
Interior Ministry police… through its own three-year-old program, which
as of July 26 has bought 701,000 weapons for the Iraqi army and police
with $237 million in U.S. government funds.”
And this isn’t enough? Man! Peashooters are more popular than the new
iPhone! Hear that Steve? I suggest development of the iRifle just for
the Middle Eastern market. It might be a real eye-catching winner at
the local Apple Store too, especially if it comes with a free iPod with
all of Ted Nugent’s recordings pre-downloaded.
There are even more confusing things about this gun running deal. According to the
AP:
“Pentagon reports list only 161,000 trained police across all 18 of
Iraq's provinces, and say the ministry has been issued 169,280 AK-47s,
167,789 pistols and 16,398 machine guns for them and 28,000 border
police.”
Well now let’s do some old fashioned math. 701,000 US-supplied guns
plus 100,000 known black market AK-47s comes to 801,000 firearms to
supply what… 161,000 trained Iraqi police and 28,000 border police?
That’s more than FOUR guns per security thug! Oh come on! That’s uh…
overkill! Those Iraqi police are
better armed than our own troops! Well… no surprise there.
You don’t suppose the Iraqi police are accidentally “losing” their guns
on purpose, do you? What sort of police officer would sell his gun on
the black-market and then report it stolen so he can be issued another?
That’s unheard of! How could that happen? Hm… I wonder if back in March
when
Flip-Flop McCain strolled through
the main wholesale Shorja market in central Baghdad he noticed any strangely lumpy rolled up prayer rugs? Who am I kidding? The Arizona Senator didn’t even notice
the Blackhawk helicopters buzzing overhead let alone the flak vest he was wearing.
Fortunately, through good, old-fashioned, Italian police work, Dario
Razzi, anti-Mafia prosecutor, has put the kibosh on the black-market
deal. Looks like the Iraq Interior Ministry will have to make do with
100,000 less AK-47s.
Still, it makes you wonder: Was this the tip of the volcano? How many black-market deals
don’t get busted up?
And into how many of those deals have Uncle Scam’s shady operatives and
officials stuck their grubby little fingers? Citing the names of
“friends” in top U.S. military ranks in Iraq, Mr. al-Handal said his
company and its parent, al-Thuraya, have fulfilled scores of “supply
and service contracts” (one might call that black-market gun running)
for the U.S. occupation. When asked why he claimed to possess U.S.
approval for the busted Italian weapons purchase, al-Handal said he had
a document from the U.S. Army that states: “ ‘We allow al-Thuraya Group
to do all kinds of business.’ ” I’ll bet they do!
Well, Sweetheart. The plot thickens. Time to call in
Sam Spade. This ain’t no back alley deal with Angelo, the local pizza delivery boy!
And while we’re at it can’t the U.S. claim Italy is supplying Iraqi
insurgents with weapons? Hell yeah we can! Not to mention the
non-reported fact on American “news” services that the Italian people
have been rather “unsupportive” of US military designs on their
country. The Italians were none to pleased with the Pentagon plan to
make their humble city of
Vicenza
the US military capital of Europe and staged rather a large protest.
What? They’re not with us? Well you know what that means. Time to
declare war on Italy! The US military-industrial complex ought to be
able to turn a pretty penny out of that gig, too.
I bet what you are really wondering is how did America lose Iraqi
customer loyalty? In that country, each week America continues to
spend… to spend… oh,
who’s counting? Let’s just say, it’s a
heap of dough,
and we’ve forfeited significant market dominance? Why would the
US-installed and protected Iraqi Government sneak behind America’s back
to buy AK-47’s from Italian racketeers represented by a shady firm in
Dubai? Could it be the Iraqis are two-timing us? Don’t tell me there’s
corruption in Iraq! But… they’ve been liberated and have democracy.
Or could it be as al-Maliki said last July that
Iraq doesn’t need US help? They just need a whole mess ‘o weaponry. Two guns for every man, woman and child! Given the
discord that will occur when the US pulls out, the Iraqis may well need those arms for self-defense.
Well, I hate to be huffy, but in order to make this war pay, the US
needs to re-establish and maintain 100 percent market share of arms
sales in Iraq. If the Iraqis can’t appreciate all the care and
attention the American military- industrial complex has been lavishing
on them, it’s time to leave the party. That’ll cook their bowl of
cherries. The Iraqi government thinks they’re so high and mighty, let
them try to run their own country with their black-market AK-47s! They
won’t have Dick Cheney to kick around anymore! Or that other guy, you
know, the one with the brain impediment.
Do US arms manufacturers need to have a huge price-slashing sale with 0
point financing? I suggest adding free balloons for the kids and
tickets to
Cirque du Soleil for the wives.
If nothing else, let’s be up front and encourage the Iraqis buy all the
US armaments (don’t waste good money on cheapo commie arms made by
commie stooges!) they want for the Civil War
we started with
their oil money. After all, wasn’t the oil supposed to pay for their own liberation? Well, there you go.
Besides, we need to send Italy sleeping with the fishes now.
Elizabeth Gyllensvard contributed to and edited this story.
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