Mt. Rushmore is not art, nor does it honor anybody. At least
Christo has the decency to remove his curtains and umbrellas after a couple of weeks. And
Banksy only defaces man made ugly. Besides, those two actually have some artistic talent.
Well, monumental edifices to stupidity continue to pop up from time to
time. And now America has a whopper to be proud of. What pray tell
could this Syphilitic White Elephant be? Folks, it’s not a national
attraction you can visit like the World’s Largest Ball of Dung
(currently on display in the heart of Washington DC). It’s the
United States Embassy in Iraq.
And it didn’t come cheap either. It
only cost the taxpayers
$740 million
borrowed dollars… and the fire alarms still don’t work. Assuming that
loan ever gets paid off… my little joke… I wonder how much the final
tab will be after interest is calculated? Will China simply foreclose
and convert it into the Chinese Embassy in Iraq? Or will future
generations be paying out the butt trumpet until we’re all fossil fuels
for the Mantis Monarchy and Roach Republic to fight over?
Sprawling over 104 acres of prime Baghdad real estate the US Embassy in Iraq is one stunning
monument to stupidity. But at least unlike most US contracted
“reconstruction” projects…
I still don’t understand how you can reconstruct something when you’re
not finished destroying it yet… the powers that be saw fit to stay the
course in a new way forward towards actual completion. Overlooking the
banks of the Tigris River in the Cradle of Civilization, the largest
embassy in the world shines like a beacon to… uh, beacon to… freedom
and democracy don’t seem to fit… a beacon to incoming mortar shells and
home made rockets! It just makes one beam with pride doesn’t it?
So… what does Uncle Scam intend to do with it now?
Hm… good question. Well, despite all the publicity, Iraq has not
developed into a tourist magnet… like the World’s Largest Ball of Dung.
In fact Iraq hasn’t “developed” at all since the US so thoughtfully
liberated it from stability. Ok, that rules out peering at the Monument
to Stupidity through coin operated telescopes on the banks of the
Tigris or taking narrated tram rides through it.
How does the US embassy in Iraq compare in size to the actual Iraqi
government offices? Trick question. There are no actual Iraqi
government offices. However if the Iraqis had a real government I’m
sure they could take over the US Embassy and still have room for camel
races in the halls.
And empty halls seem to be what the US has so proudly built.
Oddly, State Department employees seem reticent to move in.
What gives?
It’s new! It’s more fortified than a box of Wheaties! And… it has a
food court! Are they afraid KBR is contracted to provide the food? Or
is it possible that emergency escape helicopter pads are less plentiful
than life rafts on the Titanic?
Not that it matters. Sending State Department lackeys to work in the US
Embassy in Iraq would cost more money. The operational costs of the
Baghdad Monument to Stupidity are guestimated to be
$1.2 billion a year. Well, that seems a bit steep.
The State Department lackeys… uh I mean “diplomats” can do the same
inept jobs here at home for half the cost… still to much. And frankly,
what in the heck would they do in Iraq anyway? There’s nothing to
administer. And so far I’ve seen no evidence of “diplomacy.” Are they
going to oversee the black hole as it sucks up US dollars, weapons and
lives? I hate to say it but black holes operate according to their own
laws of physics, not the delusions of bankrupt Empires. In this case,
“reality” is not what White House spin-doctors create… but it never was.
So there sits another great American Monument to Stupidity in the heart
of Baghdad in all it’s uh… glory… a permanent edifice to
America’s Imperial Neocon Master Plan. I hope they at least sell postcards and bumper stickers.
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