Home     Writers     Op/Ed     Book Reviews     News     Bookstore     Photoshops     Submit     Search     Contact Us     Advertise  
  You are here: 

Tue

18

Sep

2007

F U Shamu, and the wave you rode in on
Tuesday, 18 September 2007 11:32
by Ed Naha
Just how deep does Bush’s “I is Sparticus” attitude run in this government?

Apparently, it even thrives down in Davy Jones’ Locker.

This month, the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco gave the Navy the thumb’s up to turn whales’ innards into tapioca via sonar blasts off the California Coast by stating:
“The safety of the whales must be weighed, and so must the safety of our warriors. And our country.”
Uh, our warriors? Are we talking Aquaman and a super-buffed The Little Mermaid, here?

The underwater sonar tests are part of the Navy’s anti-submarine drills and they screw up sea life Big Time. In August, a federal judge in Los Angeles suspended the experiments. They’re planned to go on through 2009. The judge, Florence-Marie Cooper, said that the sonar blasts could harm nearly 30 species of marine mammals, including five species of endangered whales. She said that the Navy’s protective measures were “woefully inadequate.”

Oh, yeah, the Navy estimated that 466 permanent injuries to whales would occur.

Now, I’m not someone who chains myself to trees or takes a rubber dingy out to stop submarines, but this whole “we’re patriots, we’re at war, suck it up” stuff has gone beyond lunacy and is hovering somewhere between obscene arrogance and orthodox dipshitism.

In Bush’s America we are told to care about one thing and one thing only: Bush’s funhouse mirror vision of this country. Lady Liberty has mutated into something hovering between General Custer and Attila the Hun and our noble eagle has transformed itself into a vulture. The world is ours for the taking, so quit your blubbering.

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals had Judge Andrew Kleinfeld sink the whales by declaring:
“We are currently engaged in war, in two countries. There are no guarantees extending from 2007 to 2009 or at any other time against other countries deciding to engage us, or our determining that it is necessary to engage other countries.”
Aside from the Judge’s penchant for gobbledygook, he’s stating that these anti-submarine sonar drills are presently geared towards detecting subs from Afghanistan and Iraq. What are they made of, rocks?

Navy spokesman Captain Scott Gureck said the ruling:

“...allows us to resume active sonar training for our carrier and expeditionary strike groups.”

Yeah. Those camels in water wings can sneak right by ya, if you’re not careful. And rumor has it that bin Laden is now in league with Captain Nemo.

Now, in the past, the Navy conducted similar tests while using lookouts and reducing sound levels when whales were spotted. Under Bush? Let ‘er rip, Captain Ahab. These tests will affect the Channel Islands National Marine Sanctuary and the annual migration path of gray whales. The Navy’s response: “so?”

It’s not like the Navy doesn’t know that they’re destroying nature. Back in 2002, the Navy admitted that its sonar caused the beaching of 16 whales in the Bahamas in 2000. A report signed by Navy Secretary Gordon England said that the autopsied animals “had experienced some sort of trauma likely to be associated with pressure, an intense acoustic event, or an impulse, that led to their stranding and subsequent deaths.”

In 2003, autopsies of beaked whales found on beaches in the Canary Islands showed that the sonar tests caused the equivalent of what scuba divers refer to as “the bends” in the mammals.

The tests, run by both the U.S. Navy and NATO forces, have caused beaching of whales and dolphins throughout the world, from Hawaii to Greece to Florida.

What’s the point?

Everyone wants a safe, secure world…but at what cost? If America, once admired globally, succumbs to a sense of Nouveau Manifest Destiny, the rest of the world is sure to follow. Hey, world, not only can we do the pre-emptive war thing and kill innocent men, women and children; we can kill animals and destroy habitats as well. Are we macho, or whut?

Case in point: a couple of weeks ago, up in Washington state, five members of the Makah tribe killed a gray whale using harpoons and a rifle usually used to kill elephants. The Makah argue that it secured the right to hunt whales in an 1855 treaty with the U.S. It is their tradition. I can only assume, back when the treaty was signed, elephant guns weren’t mentioned.

Oh, yeah, that same week, Stanford University released a report stating that gray whale numbers are still dangerously low and a proposal for a South Atlantic whale sanctuary was defeated in the first vote at the International Whaling Commission’s meeting this year.

But, as usual, America leads the world in ignoring, uh, the world. Last month, a federal judge said that the Bush administration violated U.S. law by failing to produce a study on the impact of global warming. The last U.S. assessment was published in 2000. BushCo. has until next March to fabricate something.

Meanwhile, two weeks ago, 69,000 square miles of Arctic sea ice, roughly the size of Florida, melted away in six days.

“If you had asked me a few years ago about how fast the Arctic would be ice free in summer, I would have said somewhere between about 2070 and the turn of the century,” said scientist Mark Serreze, a polar ice expert. “My view has changed. I think that an ice-free Arctic as early as 2030 is not unreasonable.”

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, this ice loss will mean that two-thirds of the world’s polar bear population will disappear within 50 years.

The European Space Agency just released findings that, per their satellite photos, showed Arctic ice has shrunk to the lowest level on record. It’s so low that the Northwest Passage may become an open shipping lane.

And NASA scientists have just concluded that global warming will lead to more devastating thunderstorms in the near future.

But, BushCo. creates it’s own reality, right?

So, let’s pour some more blood and money into Iraq, shall we?

Let’s rattle our sabers at Iran.

Let’s warn Syria we’re watching their nuclear program.

Let’s have General Mayhem testify before Congress and state that we’re winning in Iraq because, er, we say so.

Let’s have our President fabricate a list of countries that have boots on the ground in Iraq. (“And I’d personally like to thank Upper Slobovia for their elite snow-shoe squad.”)

Let’s have former Secretary of Defunct Donald Rumsfeld state that he doesn’t follow what’s going on in Iraq because he’s “been very busy doing a series of things: setting up an office and hiring staff, arranging my papers to give to the Library of Congress (and) setting up a new foundation.”

Let’s see compassionate conservatism in action, as in this Iraq-based exchange between CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and Republican Rep. John Boehner:

BLITZER: “How much longer will U.S. taxpayers have to shell out $2 billion a week or $3 billion a week as some now are suggesting the cost is going to endure? The loss in blood, the Americans who are killed every month, how much longer do you think this commitment, this military commitment is going to require?”

BOEHNER: “I think General Petraeus outlined it pretty clearly. We’re making success. We need to firm up those successes. We need to continue our effort here because, Wolf, long term, the investment that we’re making today will be a small price if we’re able to stop al Qaeda here, if we’re able to stabilize the Middle East, it’s not only going to be a small price for the near future, but think about the future for our kids and their kids.”

As I write this, this month’s “small price” includes 39 Americans dead, for a total of 3,781 since the invasion began. Iraqi fatalities may total over a million.

Is it any wonder why this current government doesn’t care about animals or nature? It doesn’t even care about human life. It cares about ideology. It cares about empire. It cares about slogans. It cares about photo-ops. It cares about fantasy.

So, dig into that Shamu stew, kids. Flip those Flipper burgers. Crank up that “Country Joe and the Fish” CD. And buy that seafront property in Arizona, now.

Welcome to the lean, mean Homeland.

California-based author Ed Naha likes to consider himself multi-faceted. This is a nice way of saying that he can't hold down a steady job. As a novelist, he has written over twenty-five tomes in the mystery, horror and science fiction genres. (Surprisingly enough, they were all published.) His mystery novel, CRACKING UP, was nominated by the Mystery Writers of America for an Edgar Award in 1992. That he lost is chalked up to prejudice against short men with long hair.

In 1995, he had his revenge, serving as an Edgar judge. He eliminated anyone over five feet six inches tall. As a plumber, he hasn't accomplished a hell of a lot. Naha is also infamous as a rock music and film journalist. A former columnist for THE NEW YORK POST, his work appeared with alarming frequency in such diverse publications as THE VILLAGE VOICE, ROLLING STONE, PLAYBOY, HEAVY METAL, THE TWILIGHT ZONE and SCIENCE DIGEST. Eventually, they got wise to him.

In 1976, he produced the LP, GENE RODDENBERRY: INSIDE STAR TREK for CBS. That same year, he was presented with a Gold Record for his A&R co-ordination of the album, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: BORN TO RUN. Turning to screen writing in the 1980s, he has written and sold over thirty scripts. His best known features are HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS, DOLLS and TROLL. Imagine what the worst ones were. He's written and/or produced 90 hours of television including two seasons of THE ADVENTURES OF SINBAD as well as HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS.

He has since been pardoned. Once Bush was anointed, he returned to his early political leanings and launched an Internet screed. People now consider him ”feisty,” which means he's still short and hairy but now is old and has a bigger mouth. Born and educated in New Jersey, but able to speak English anyway, he is kind to small animals and children, small animalistic children and large people with guns.
 
More from this author:
Hang em' High (6244 Hits)
by Ed Naha If the execution of Saddam Hussein has proven anything, it’s that the new, democratically elected Iraqi government has learned a...
God’s on line two (5745 Hits)
by Ed Naha I have nothing against religion. Since the dawn of time, humans have found solace and strength by acknowledging the existence of...
Happy Doomsday To Us! (4884 Hits)
by Ed Naha Does anyone besides me find it telling that the keepers of the “Doomsday Clock” plan to move its minute hand forward this...
Through the Looking Glass Darkly (5047 Hits)
by Ed Naha This past Saturday, 25 American troops died in Iraq. It was the third worst day in the history of the so-called war. The unofficial...
Lizzie Cheney Took An Ax… (5142 Hits)
by Ed Naha Every so often, something emerges from D.C. that is SO outrageous; it gives you the intellectual equivalent of freezer burn. Such...
Related Articles:
Presidential Presence - Holding the Hands of the People vs. A Distant Wave of the Hand (5425 Hits)
by Carolyn Baker Below the equator, it is now autumn, the end of summer and the beginning of winter. During the month of February, the nation...
Heat Wave Washes Away American Ideals: LeBron James, the Media, and the American Soul (2912 Hits)
by Walter Brasch Ph.D. Millions of Americans had pleaded with basketball superstar LeBron James to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers and come...


Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
Trackback(0)
Comments (2)add comment

a guest said:

0
Well said.
Sadly, "we the people" is not something that Americans believe in anymore. Recently, Americans have gladly sacrificed their rights and freedoms in the desperate hope that they will in some way be more safe from the unseen enemy they are constantly informed is lurking right outside their very doorstep.
 
September 18, 2007 | url
Votes: +0

a guest said:

0
Well said.
Sadly, "we the people" is not something that Americans believe in anymore. Recently, Americans have gladly sacrificed their rights and freedoms in the desperate hope that they will in some way be more safe from the unseen enemy they are constantly informed is lurking right outside their very doorstep.
 
September 18, 2007 | url
Votes: +0

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

adsense

Top