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Sun

18

May

2008

The Stamp of Upheaval
Sunday, 18 May 2008 14:13
by Will Durst

Like a blind squirrel tripping over a discarded acorn, the pundits may have accidentally stumbled onto a piece of truth in their speculation that Hillary is making Barack a better candidate. Or maybe he’s just a quick learner. Either way, Mr. Obama seems to have gotten real good real quick. This week, in less than twelve hours, he managed to turn a debilitating loss into a triumphal moment of celebration complete with two males holding hands in a non- California or Massachusetts way. From goat to hero in less than a single revolution of Mickey’s little hand. That’s way beyond Clinton- good. We’re verging on Reagan- good here.

Mr. Elitist has become Mr. Smoothiest. He’s as polished as a casaba melon wrapped in a velour golf towel covered in baby powder. More fluid than the lines on a Lamborghini fashioned out of Italian cream cheese resting under heat lamps. Less friction than a bead of sweat between two bodies in high heat at full rut. And if he’s not real careful, they’re going to start printing up t- shits with a picture of him over the caption: Slick Barry.

To say that Hillary Clinton beat him in West Virginia is like implying Post- It Notes don’t library well in blast furnaces. Or, to use the Appalachian vernacular, he was beaten like a red headed step child. What I’m saying here is: He lost. Real bad. By more than 40 points. Numbers more befitting an also ran than the ostensible front- runner. Not quite the infallible image a candidate being carried on a litter through teeming crowds on his way to a coronation is anxious to project.

But then, the very day after he got himself royally trounced by that recently transformed friend of the working man, Mr. Obama pulled from out of his hat, not just one, but two major league liberal endorsements. The first rabbit to sneak down his sleeve was that coquettish Democratic Party debutante, Senator John Edwards; who pretending to take almost as long to make up his mind about whom to endorse than he normally spends on his hair. The timing was as lethally effective as ball peen hammer to the forehead. You might even call it premeditated murder. A classic case of stashing a Heineken in the crisper bin of the frig at a party in a house that isn’t yours.

Mr Obama also received the blessing of the national abortion rights action league, NARAL. And the endorsements have hit Hillary Clinton like two sucker punches to the gut with gloves mounted on pneumatic pistons. Both oaths of sanction hurt, but especially the latter. Butting heads while competing for the same third generation factory worker constituency is one thing. Stealing the feminist vote from the feminist is another.

Mr. Edwards can be forgiven for jumping on the winning bandwagon, after spending so much time buried in the John Kerry submersible, but Hillary has been a NARAL supporter since day one, so if I were one of the directors of that organization, I would get down on my knees and pray to whatever Supreme Being I believed in that I was never subpoenaed to appear before one of Senator Clinton’s subcommittees. Pray and invest in a varied yet tasteful wardrobe of Kevlar pantsuits. Why? Because hell hath no fury like a woman getting her butt kicked on the campaign trail.

Catch Will Durst at the San Francisco Punch Line May 20th- 24th. 415.397.4337. Or at a read and sign at Book Passage in Corte Madera during the day on the 22nd. AND order his book, The All American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing, available now at Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours.



 
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jacksmith said:

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jacksmith@mailinator.com
HILLARY CLINTON IS THE GREATEST CAMPAIGNER IN AMERICAN HISTORY !!!

HILLARY CLINTON CAN BEST WIN IN NOVEMBER:

IT'S ABOUT ELECTABILITY !!!

It's time for everyone to face the truth. Barack Obama has no real chance of winning the national election in November at this time. His crushing defeat in Pennsylvania, and loss in Indiana and West Virginia makes that fact crystal clear. His best, and only real chance of winning in November is on a ticket with Hillary Clinton as her VP.

Sen. Obama has zero chance of winning against the republican attack machine, and their unlimited money, and resources without Hillary Clinton. Zero chance.

It is absolutely essential that the democrats take back the Whitehouse in November. America, and the American people are in a very desperate condition now. And the whole World has been doing all that they can to help keep us propped up.

Hillary Clinton say's that the heat, and decisions in the Whitehouse are much tougher than the ones on the campaign trail. But I think Sen. Obama faces a test of whether he has what it takes to be a commander and chief by facing the difficult facts, and the truth before him. And by doing what is best for the American people by dropping out of the race, and offering his whole hearted assistance to Hillary Clinton to help her take back the Whitehouse for the American people, and the World.

Sen. Obama is a great speaker. And I am confident he can explain to the American people the need, and wisdom of such a personal sacrifice for them. It should be clear to everyone by now that Hillary Clinton is fighting her heart out for the American people. She has known for a long time that Sen. Obama can not win this November. You have to remember that the Clinton's have won the Whitehouse twice before. They know what it takes.

If Sen. Obama fails his test of commander and chief we can only hope that Hillary Clinton can continue her heroic fight for the American people. And that she prevails. She will need all the continual support and help we can give her. She may fight like a superhuman. But she is only human.

Don't be fooled by the pledged delegate, and math arguments. Neither candidate has the necessary pledged delegates. The entire delegates counts, and votes from Florida, and Michigan are not even being counted. Plus the democratic caucuses, and primarys have been heavily corrupted by fraud, and vote cheating. The only relevant question now is who can best WIN IN NOVEMBER and take back the Whitehouse for the American people. And the answer is HILLARY CLINTON. Everyone knows that now.

Sincerely

Jacksmith... Working Class :-)

p.s. Cynthia Ruccia - I'm with ya baby. All the way. "Clinton Supporters Count Too."
 
May 18, 2008
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