Home     Writers     Op/Ed     Book Reviews     News     Bookstore     Photoshops     Submit     Search     Contact Us     Advertise  
  You are here: 

Thu

16

Oct

2008

Is The Moose Qualified To Be America’s Next Democratic Dictator?
Thursday, 16 October 2008 06:27
by Tom Chartier

Well now here’s a good question. Is Sarah Palin qualified to be VP? More accurately, given the doddering qualities of John McCain, is she qualified to be President of the United States?

I find both of these questions ludicrous. In my book, the answer is a resounding NO WAY! As a friend said: “I wouldn’t vote for her as dog catcher.” Why? Simply, one does not go from president of the local PTA to small town mayor to governor of a State with only 700,000 residents spread thinner the Katrina hurricane relief to qualification for POTUS over night. It just ain’t that simple.

Also, I can testify from experience that quite often PTA Presidents are just as corrupt and conniving as Karl Rove. In fact after serving their posts of Pres and Vice-Pres, the two fascist PTA buddies (both eager beaver attractive moms just like Sarah Palin) at my son’s school simply switched places in order to “maintain continuity.” Where have we heard that lame excuse before? Oh yeah, it’s in the 2006 Military Commissions Act. But I digress with the absurdity of my local PTA Nazis.

So really, what then is Ms. Palin? Is she just an average bubbly hockey mom? Or is she a typical back stabbing office seeker hungry for power, power and more power with… and I shudder at the thought… God on her side?

Anyway, the question remains. Is Sarah Palin qualified to be President of the United States? Don’t kid yourself here VP is not the issue. Well, as I have often said, anyone truly qualified for the office of POTUS does not want it. Only self-motivated bottom feeders want to sit in the Oval Office where they can brag about being a “war president,” bully Congress and the press, issue signing statements declaring they are above the law, start wars without congressional approval, destroy the economy while making their cronies rich, etc., etc., etc. Not to mention, even with those glorious perks of office, who wants the headaches?

Ex-POTUSes (or is that POTI?) get to spend the rest of their lives in the shadows of the Secret Service. Often crazies like Squeaky Frome take pot shots at presidents. And horrors of all horrors, presidents are canon fodder for the likes of Saturday Night Live, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and… uh… other scoundrels of ill repute.

Screw THAT shit! I don’t want to be the object of ridicule, abuse, history, slanderous books (factual and otherwise) or high velocity projectiles. Do you? Of course not.

I rest my case. Nobody qualified for the office of President or Vice President of the United States wants the job. Only those installed kicking and screaming like George Washington are qualified. On that basis alone, Sarah Palin is not qualified. It’s a dumb question.

Of course neither is John McCain, Barack Obama, Joe Biden or any of the other de-evolved primates who seriously sought office in this election circus. But some are worse than others and Sarah Palin strikes me as suspiciously low on the qualifications list. You know she has some mighty creepy skeletons tucked away in her closet, like being blessed by a witch-hunting pastor.

However, I could be wrong. So, if you agree or disagree with me you can “vote” your opinion. Yes indeedy! Just follow this handy link to a PBS poll and you can put in your two bits on whether or not Sarah Palin is qualified as VP.

The first time I saw this and voted something like 54% said: “yes” while only 46% said “no.” But the second time the link was sent to me and I voted it was much closer. After only two days only 50% said: “yes” with 48% saying no. 2% probably thought Sarah Palin was a former member of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Well, not happy with the results and untrusting of modern technology, I made sure my voice was heard. I voted: “no” at least twenty times. In fact, since I never received confirmation of my “vote” and there was no paper trail I’m still not sure I was properly counted. I suppose late tonight I’ll have to crack open the peppermint schnapps and spend an hour or two voting some more.

Well then what do these Internet polls prove if some yahoo can get all liquored up and vote over and over again until the moose tips over? They prove nothing, absolutely nothing. Stuffing the real ballot box requires skill and finesse… and some healthy kickbacks to the makers of electronic voting machines… but messing up an Internet poll is so simple my dogs Nimrod and Little Brain can do it. Maybe even Dan Quayle could have handled it!

If anything, the fact that this poll regarding Sarah Palin’s qualifications is even remotely close asks a truly disturbing question. Are the constituents qualified to vote?

Holy Robespierre Rasputin! Are we ever in a heap of merde de singe! Am I suggesting the God Democracy doesn’t work? Blasphemy! A witch must have made me say that.

I confess that truth be known, that is exactly what I am saying. And the Sarah Palin traveling damnation show is proof. I still am not 100% sure if Sarah Palin is the next George W. Bush, the next Neocon puppet president, a slime eating politician or a good old fashioned hockey mom unlucky enough to be swept up by the filth of Washington politics. But she likes the idea of becoming VP. And a whole heap of folks think she’s the hottest thing since microwave popcorn simply because of her image! They know zilch about the real Sarah Palin. All of this is why she’s not qualified and why Democracy is an imperfect form of government.

Sorry to stomp on anyone’s Fourth of July parade.

Fact is the Founding Fathers inherently knew that democracy is subject to some serious flaws. Unqualified idiots should have the right to vote but one must remember they are easy to fool. Hence the United States of America was not created as a pure democracy. It was formed as a Democratic Republic. The term “republic” for those ignorant members of the Karl Rove Baptist Church means a state governed by the rule of law. Rule of law by the way, seems to have been tossed out with the biblical fish-heads… or is that by the biblical fish-heads?

As Jacob Hornberger of the Future of Freedom Foundation, so accurately described it, we have a Democratic Dictatorship. What’s that! Not a republic anymore? Well that sucks dead rats.

Well, then here’s the real question: Is Sarah Palin qualified to be the next Democratic Dictator… uh… after McCain croaks of course? Since none of us really know much about her, and since she has no experience in international affairs, and since she surrounded by Cheney and Rove king makers and manipulators, and since she’s just a simple hockey mom… uh protected from witches… the answer is a resounding yes. This is assuming of course, an even more incompetent loony is preferable to the Delusional Decider we’ve had for eight years.
More from this author:
America… I Apologize! (8146 Hits)
My fellow Americans, it is with a heavy heart that I must confess. I have transgressed. I have committed the most heinous crime of our great land....
The Land Without Hope (8535 Hits)
“Imagine what it's like to be a young person living in a country that is not moving toward reform. You're 21 years old, and while your peers in...
Dear Dubya: The Iraq Solution! (10083 Hits)
Hey there Georgie Boy, long time no speak. From what I’ve been hearing, you’ve had a rough time as of late. As always, I’m here to help. So...
This Is The Way Of Dictatorships. (9529 Hits)
If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier... just so long as I'm the dictator.” George Walker Bush, 2000 Was...
Nukalert! (9253 Hits)
Hey there nostalgia fans and potential survivors! Don’t you miss the good old days when baby boomers were babies? I sure do. Boy, those were fine...
Related Articles:
An Open Letter to the New Congress - Investing in Hate: America’s Support of Israel (10680 Hits)
by William A. Cook “[It] is wrong to suggest that the Jewish people would support a government in Israel or anywhere else that...
Democratic Control of the Senate is a Double-Edged Sword (6529 Hits)
by Dave Lindorff Let’s stop all the heavy breathing. While Republican vultures hover shamelessly over the hospital where Sen. Tim...
Where Will Blacks Find Justice? - The Civil Rights Movement is Dead and So is the Democratic Party (8592 Hits)
by Roland Sheppard The first civil and human rights movement by and for Black people started during the Civil War and the period of Black...
Our Next President Needs to Be Well-Seasoned (5850 Hits)
by Andrew Bard Schmookler I certainly agree with those who regard Barack Obama as an appealing and impressive fellow. And I thought John...
Lieberman and McCain's Desired Escalation Could Result in the Next World War (4965 Hits)
by Linda Milazzo Yesterday, January 6, 2007, Senators John McCain and Joe Lieberman, two-thirds of the trio of tyranny (along with...


Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
Trackback(0)
Comments (1)add comment

Mot Chretien said:

0
President and CEO
Tom, great satire! Your argument reminds me of the court scene in the film "Idiocracy." You maintain the same levels of decoherence and non sequitur, which is the heart of a certain style of satire. Well done!

 
October 19, 2008
Votes: +0

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

adsense

Top